I think this is an area often overlooked. On several occassions I have had others comment on the "behavior" of My own submissive as well as another I will not mention. There are apparantly several "angles" they have not noticed nor realized.
1) As Dominants yes it is Our position to mold and train a submissive. However this need be done carefully. You cannot change a submissive into something she is not or doesn't want to be. Lead cannot be changed to gold. You can put a little window dressing on it, paint it gold, but underneath it is still lead. To do such to a sub would breed an unhealthy relationship. If One wishes a sub to be a certain way then You need first find out if the sub is agreeable to it (negotiation), if not then one of 3 things must happen: 1) accept it and live with this "part" of the sub, 2) let the sub go and move on to another, 3) over time attempt to create an atmosphere where the sub will want change the paticular behavior, however this does not always work and You must be ready to fall back on numbers 1 & 2. There are somethings You just cannot change.
2) Certainly I allow My sub to be aggressive as it were. In social situations Y/you will often see her "out front" initiating conversations, making contacts. This is all to My benefit. I stand back and observe, I see how the conversations go. I see how O/others react to her. I get to listen to what O/others say. Therefore when I enter the situation I have a hand up so to speak. I have been able to get a "read" on O/others which allows Me to "handle" the situation better. Gives Me time to "negotiate" with Myself on how I want things to go. Y/you could say she is My "advanced scout".
3) Be honest with Yourself as to why You want to "collar" or "own" a paticular sub. I cherish My sub greatly. Even when being "frisky", "aggressive", or getting into trouble it makes the daily "grind" far more enjoyable. I did not wish to collar her for "appearances" or because she is "window dressing, eye candy" or because she "fits the submissive mold". I collared her because she brings Me pleasure, joy and honor in the things she does while being submissive to Me.
Remember that in this Life W/we stress negotiation. In those negotiations there are Hard Limits and Soft Limits. Hard Limits are those that will usually not change or have little chance of changing. Soft Limits are those which can be pushed and may likely change. Over time both Hard and Soft Limits can change. I recall a time when My own sub was a bit "turned off" by clothes pins, now that she has seen them in a differant light she is finding she loves them (Soft Limit). If perhaps I find there is an activity that she considers a Hard Limit then I resort to paragraph 1 above or perhaps find a play partner to do that activity with. However this must be done openly, honestly, and be negotiated else the Dominant looses all integrity in the eyes of the submissive. Once the Dominant starts to hide things, lie, and deceive all limits seem to change and the relastionship goes down hill.
I have been fortunate enough to find My sub ladyshivers. Over time W/we have developed trust, understanding, and commitment. W/we have "cultivated" relationships with O/others which has allowed U/us both to expand and explore limits and activities. W/we have both found that by being open and honest not only between U/us but with O/others as well that this Life is very enjoyable.
Would I trade lady in for another? NO! Are there things I would change in her? Certainly. Do I want a 24/7 docile, mindless, non aggressive sub? BORING, but if I did I would go find one, not change the one I have.
Just My thoughts. Y/you are more than welcome to differ with Me. Y/your entitled to Y/you opinion just as I am. In this Life it is the variety that makes it interesting. Just always remember Safe, Sane, and Consentual.
Prophett,
Lord, The House of Darkwatch