1.Be patient! Until you enter into a relationship with a submissive, you have
            no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your
            bottom time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety
            are major elements of dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go
            hand in hand.  The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that  you
            show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.

                      2.Be humble. You may be God's/Goddess' gift to the world, but no one
           needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to
           show how good you are - and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of
           yourself. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a
           scene. Don't set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that
           you know you can never reach.

                      3.Be open. Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in
                      D/s-SM, you can always learn from your bottom, no matter how
                      inexperienced. Be willing to learn from other dominants who may have a
                      totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar
                      trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone
                      has her or his own personal style.

                      4.Communicate! You are responsible for finding out basic, essential
                      information about the people you play with, such as experience, limits,
           likes and dislikes, and health information. Playing D/s-SM without this
           knowledge is like Russian roulette. Talk about your head-space and your
           view of D/s-SM with your bottom, so that any uncertainties can be dealt
           with before you start playing. Clearly spell out roles, rules, limits, and
           contracts. Do not take for granted that your bottom instinctively knows the
           ground rules.

                      5.Be honest. If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like
           to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know
           that.  Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels
           at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should
           always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a.particular scene
           is.

                      6.Be sensitive. There's a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominant
                      and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a
                      creative synthesis of your needs and fantasies and your bottom's needs and
                      fantasies. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what
                      actually is happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each
           other.
                      Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even
           threaten to violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it
                      appropriately.

                      7.Be realistic. End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing
           there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the
           keys,  not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is
           fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favorite
           porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don't try to
           imitate them to the last detail.

                      8.Be really dominant! Submissives are looking for someone who will take
           over their body and mind, not just for brute strength.Real people are
           wanted, not just cardboard images from cigarette ads or macho stereotypes.
           Your dominance enhances your whole existence. It does not cover up or
           substitute for other areas of your life - it is you. Make your submissive fall
           in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you
           totally. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately
           when it is called for. Don't shirk your responsibility to your bottom or to
           your sister/fellow tops. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have
           agreed to take the dominant role - now take it!

                      9.Be healthy! Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants
           be in top physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the
           amount you Sleep, your eating habits, and your alcohol and drug intake
           affect your performance and endurance during a scene. Don't attempt to do
           SM when your physical or emotional energy is low. As a dominant you
           have a special responsibility to be in control of yourself and on top of the
           scene. An attitude of "drugs and alcohol don't affect me that much... I can
           do it  anyway" violates your submissive's trust in you and can be dangerous.
           If you don't want to accept the responsibilities, you shouldn't be playing the
           game!

                      10.Have fun! After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have
           earned, and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come
           from responsible, creative SM play.